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Staramber's Scribbles: Vanity (about me)



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About Me

It is a little known fact that in 1987 a genetic experiment in Manchester went horribly wrong. It produced what is known as ‘specimen 472’. Specimen 472 was given to a student nurse to raise and taken to the nearby town of Heywood. Being in the middle of nowhere this helped keep the accident a secret. As it was also in the middle of two large industrial towns, the efforts of the scientists were a little wasted.

 Specimen 472 was sent to Primary school. St Margaret's C E Primary School to be more precise. The idea was that this poorly funded and run down school* would lead to the destruction of specimen 472 (renamed Clare to avoid being teased) but due to the fantastic teaching staff this plan failed. However the plan succeeded to weaken her ankle one dinner time. Although she couldn’t walk the headmistress assured everyone it was just fine.

Clare led a good life until year six when pressures from standardized testing finally hit. It is these high pressure exams have been responsible for short periods of complete apathy when she was 11, 14 and 16. She lost interest in Football, Music and History and she has never been able to find it again. (It’s probably under the bed but she can’t be arsed looking)

Her involvement in school plays and assemblies made her realise she liked being the centre of attention. She wanted to become an actress for a short period of time until she realized she couldn’t act. She now wants to work behind the camera.

Secondary school was hell for Clare. Most people say it was because she had a mind of her own, she thinks it was because she actually had a mind. Her ankle went twice in this time. Apparently teacher’s definition of fine is ‘can barely walk’. It was in this time she began to carry a note book everywhere. At firs they where filled with really bad song lyrics but as she matured they where replaced with (just) bad stories and poems. She realized these had to be depressing because she dressed gothic.

More recently she has joined a group of people who wish to take over the world. They believe in a system of monarchy with a leader that actually cares about people. They frown upon democracy because idiots are allowed to vote. She is the (joint) leader of this group of misfits that includes the inventor of the Tomrock genre and a genetically engineered hobbit (A hoobit). They call themselves ‘Black New World’ and she is the queen.

*this is apparently no longer the case but the headmistress is still insane.

This biography is for entertainment purposes only

The Truth 

Name: Clare

Age: 16 (but by the time I update this again I will probably be around 52)

Occupation: Un-paid thinker (aka student, aka living off my parents and the government)

Location:  Heywood, England (It’s near Manchester and that picture is very deceptive, there is a main road between the gardens and the church and everything is falling apart.)

Anything else: Nope it’s all boring.

For my psychotic fan (Hi Nan!) My [Blog] and [E-mail]